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What you're about to hear is an

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audio recording of a recent episode of

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Seth Meyers' corrections. To watch

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new episodes of corrections, subscribe to the

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Late Night YouTube channel. In

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the year 2021, Late

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Night Talk Show host Seth Meyers unleashed

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the full fury of the internet with

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the utterance of a single word. These

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are the stories

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of one man's descent into the

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bowels of the internet and his

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courage to take on the most

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dangerous people on earth, YouTube commenters.

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Recorded every Thursday after the audience

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has left Studio 8G and witnessed

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only by scattered members of the late

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night staff and crew. This

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is corrections, the podcast. Corrections,

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episode 113, week of Monday, September 16th, 2024. You

1:00

can't be biased against something, you can

1:02

only be biased for something. If that's

1:05

true, why are Emmy voters so biased

1:07

against corrections? Hey,

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by the way, Emmy winner, one

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killer question, the only murders in the

1:16

building after show which won the

1:18

Emmy, congratulations again to them, not

1:21

doing new episodes. So now

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I'm even angrier because

1:26

it turns out if you win, you get

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to stop. Did

1:38

a tour de force, as Shoemaker

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says, where

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I did the voices of the entire Seinfeld

1:44

cast. Someone

1:47

wrote in and said, you said entire cast

1:49

is Seinfeld but you only mentioned the

1:52

main cast. So

1:55

who did I leave out? NOOVIN!

2:00

Somebody was really upset about this from a

2:02

closer look, that it's not

2:04

champagne in the champagne flute.

2:08

And they said they're just really skeeved out when

2:13

they don't see champagne in a champagne flute. And

2:18

I apologize, and it will not happen again. It

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was an oversight. And

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I'm not going to say anything. I apologize,

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and it will not happen again. It

2:29

was an oversight. Somebody

2:32

else said, Hey, there's a

2:35

no brine in the pickled pelican

2:37

jar. Well, someone

2:39

has an eye for brine. Scrabble

2:46

tiles will fall out of a bingo cage. Okay.

2:54

We said that the pope

2:57

was an undecided voter. And then

3:00

a bunch of you said the pope is not

3:02

a U.S. citizen, so he cannot vote in the

3:04

U.S. election. And

3:07

then when he heard that, the pope called

3:09

us all a bunch of... Bleep. Stalin!

3:24

Stalin! Died

3:27

in 1953. Rowan and Martin's

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laugh-in premiered in 1968, so Stalin could

3:32

not have appeared on laugh-in.

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Also, we said that was a joke when we

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referenced laugh-in. We said that was

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a joke for people over the age of 50. Someone wrote

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in, try 60, because I'm 58 and

3:46

have no idea what you're talking about.

3:52

Also, when I said sock

3:54

it to me in a

3:56

Russian accent, someone

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said, Stalin did not have a Russian accent.

4:02

He was from Georgia. He had a Georgian

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accent. He would not have said, ''Sulka to

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me.'' He would have said, ''Hi, y'all.'' People

4:14

are upset we are still doing the surprise, same

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surprise ending at the end of a closer look.

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So I want to do a new one. And

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we just got to edit it together. I want to do that,

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like, horror movie thing where it's like someone is still, and then

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all of a sudden, so it's like this. It's like, ''Hoorah!''

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But, like, edit it. Let's

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do it again. ''Hoorah!''

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See how it looks. Someone

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said, ''Isn't'' I said, ''Victoria

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Falls'' was one of the seven wonders of

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the natural world. Someone says, ''Isn't

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it Niagara Falls?'' It is not. But

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the footbridge that crosses Niagara Falls is one

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of the 21 bridges or tunnel that

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goes to Canada. So

5:04

that's pretty cool. Constellation price. ''Smokey

5:21

bear, not smokey the bear.'' Someone

5:25

said, ''My Harrison Ford impression ''sounds

5:29

like Jennifer Coolidge.'' Multiple

5:32

people said that. That

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can't be true. ''Laughing at

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fuzzball?'' It's not. ''Snakes?

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Why is all that got me snakes? ''Hey,

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hey, hey. Get

5:54

off my plane.'' I

6:01

didn't kill my wife. Can

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I say something about the one-armed man? Bad

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guy. Still, the fact

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that he continued to be an assassin after losing the

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arm... A

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lot of people would have hung it up. I'm so

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confused. Mentioned

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Star Wars last week and said, you know,

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basically said, like, you know, Star Wars wasn't

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shot in space. And what he wrote in,

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since the Earth is in space, technically Star

6:38

Wars was made in space, and

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this is why I hate you. You

6:48

know, someone wrote in this

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whole corrections thing is

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this whole corrections thing is

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as inaccessible as my

6:58

father's love. Well,

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now you're finally getting it. We

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were talking about what is and

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what isn't a palindrome. Obviously,

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the most famous one people were suggesting to me.

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A man, a plan, a canal, Panama.

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Someone wrote one I'd never heard before. Go

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hang a salami. I'm a lasagna

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hog. That's

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a palindrome. I checked. That's a palindrome. My

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favorite palindrome is, oh! A

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man, a plan, a canal,

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Panama, ho. Did

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a day drinking. And by the way, I knew

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this was coming. I knew we'd hit a tipping

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point. Someone wrote in, I don't

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think drinking is funny. And I don't either. I

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just think I'm super funny when I

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drink. Talk to you later. about

8:00

11% off

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at Menards. Bunch

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of people in both Minnesota and Wisconsin. Wisconsin

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had a lot of proprietary ownership of Menards,

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and they wanted to stress that that's a

8:11

Menards company. And

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Eau Claire, or

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as Shoemaker says, Water Claire. They

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said it's not an 11% off. It's an 11% rebate. You

8:27

have to send in the bottom portion of your receipt

8:29

with a rebate form, and they send you a card

8:31

with all the rebates you sent in. You use that

8:34

in place of cash at checkout, only at Menards. Save

8:36

more money at Menards. Oh,

8:39

and I realize I've been tricked into doing a live-ed.

8:46

Who sent that in? Oh.

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Drum Eric Schnauzerdad 41. Just

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ask. I

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talked about how people said my day-drinking drawing

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looked like Margaret Thatcher

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or Jimmy Carter today. And

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somebody wrote in, You actually look like

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Obama. This is a true

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thing. You actually look like Obama in

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your day-drinking photo, side by side it,

9:20

to prove it. All

9:22

right, so, side by side. This is me and Obama. Oh,

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f*** right. Identical.

9:34

It's a short one, but, guys, here's the thing. My

9:38

kids came to the show today because Jaylen Brunson was

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on and Josh Hart were on, and my son Axel's

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kind of obsessed with Jaylen Brunson, and so he came

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to the show, and it was great having him here.

9:47

Really fun. But at one point, Axel

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came over to me during the show, and he pulled

9:52

me in to say he had a

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secret, because, you know, it's loud, and

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I got really close, and then he... in

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my ear. Can

10:03

I have the Legos on your desk? And

10:06

I think he blew my eardrum. Again,

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it's my... Look,

10:12

it reflects badly on the parent when

10:14

your kids don't understand how whispering works. I want

10:19

to close with this, because it's very exciting, because I want

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you guys to be invested in both

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the future of the show and the NFL football

10:25

season. I get in the

10:27

elevator yesterday. I

10:29

get in the elevator yesterday with John and Jim,

10:32

you know, my crack security team, and... And

10:37

Kenny gets on. And, you know, when Kenny gets

10:39

on, you know, basically John and Jim are like,

10:41

we're out, right? Like, they're like... Because

10:45

Kenny on an elevator is like... Captain

10:49

America and Winter Soldier. Like, up

10:52

close, like, John and Jim are useless against him.

10:54

And so... And

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Kenny goes, I got a bet

10:59

for you. So here's the thing. The Steelers and

11:01

the Jets are playing this year, and Kenny wanted

11:03

to make a bet about the Steelers' Jets game,

11:05

October 20th. And Kenny goes... Kenny

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goes, if the Jets

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win, you got to have

11:13

a mug on your desk with the final score

11:16

for the rest of the football season. And

11:18

I'm like, okay. And then what else? And

11:21

he goes, and if the Steelers win, I'll

11:23

get a tattoo. True

11:26

story. I'll get a tattoo of the score.

11:29

And your signature. You

11:32

can sign my arm, and I'll get a tattoo. Like, that's

11:35

what I want. Kenny walking around with mine. Talk

11:39

about a trap. So the

11:41

cops show up, and they're like, you know this guy? I'm like,

11:43

I've never met him. And they're like, explain that! But,

11:49

like... I

11:52

want to mention something. I was ready... Because Kenny's been

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talking about this so long. I was ready to make a

11:56

bet with Kenny on far more agreeable

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terms to Kenny. Like, what Kenny brought to

12:01

me, I was like, are

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you joking? It's

12:06

like if someone was like, if the Jets win, you buy me a

12:08

drink. And

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if the Steelers win, I kill all your

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enemies. Even

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the ones you're on the fence about. So,

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anyway, I mean, I'm just like, something

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for you guys to look forward to.

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I mean, I'm sure the jets are gonna win now. And I might

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have a dumb mug here. And

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then the next time Axel's here, he's gonna go go, get

12:36

out of the mug! It's alive! See

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you next

12:51

week. For

12:54

more episodes of Corrections, subscribe

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to the Late Night Podcast, wherever you

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get your podcasts. And to

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watch Corrections with all the exciting

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13:09

Meyers YouTube channel.